Defeat Lap: Arguably the Best of S​.​A. Bach, 2007​-​13

by S.A. Bach

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    If you are downloading my music for the first time, PLEASE DO NOT DONATE. Once you have downloaded, listened to, and enjoyed a full album of mine, please consider a suggested donation of $3.99 for subsequent album downloads. -SAB

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about

Thanks to all involved

Special thanks to Art Paz, Mike TV, Chrissa Hayes, Lonn Hayes, John Burke, Greg Moran, Arthur C. Lee, and Steve Bach.

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released 25 November 2013
played & sung by S.A. Bach (except as noted)
songs by Sebastian A. Bach & published by Straight Pathos (ASCAP)
mastered by S.A. Bach (except as noted)

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about

S.A. Bach Los Angeles, California

29 y.o. singer/songwriter/guitarist with a pretty, unaffected tenor & a heart like a sprinkler, splattering onlookers with unblottable streaks of casually intellectualized hard-won hooky wistfulness. In addition to the solo sad bastard stuff, he has been known to front an alternative rock band (ohyeahthefuture.bandcamp.com) as well as a folk rock band (themiddleinitials.bandcamp.com) ... more

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Track Name: I'm the One I Love
I'm the one I love

What am I waiting for
Anybody else for?

I'm the one I love

Now I know for sure
Your leaving only makes me love me more

I'm the one I love

I've been with me all along
With my outstretched hands
And my long-term plans

Still I gazed out and beyond
Falling on deaf ears and squeezing stones

But all the years and loves and songs
Lie before me now
And seem to spell it out

My epic quest was all in vain
I've never been alone, and now I know

I'm the one I love
Track Name: Driveway
I could barely believe the love I'd found
It made me say, 'I guess I'm all grown up now'
But a moment later my jaw dropped to the ground
She'd pulled into my driveway just to turn around

If you don't want me, I'd rather not ask
Emotions get the best of me, and I the worst of them
The truth makes me wanna pretend
D'ya want me to not ask?

I could drink a case of you, I still might not get full
But if I just walk away, I won't look like a fool
Well maybe I'm afraid to lose, to try, to get, and to have
But I'll catch you later on, screamin' from the past

Emotion gets the best of me, and I the worst of it
The truth is full of shit
D'ya want me to not ask?
Don't you want me to not ask?

I traveled the world, just lookin' around
Then she came and found me on solid ground
But that's when I heard my least favorite sound
She pulled back out my driveway, she was just turnin' around

Once again I sang a song not knowing what it meant
You were sent to enlighten me, weren't you?
Once again I wrote a song without believing in it
And you came to convince me, didn't you?

You'll leave me in the dust
But I am not as I was
I am better off because
Now the song runs in my blood
And my hope is gone for good

I could barely believe the love I'd found
Couldn't help but say, 'I guess I'm all grown up now'
But to this day, I can't wrap my mind around it
She pulled into my driveway just to turn around
Track Name: Oh Yeah, The Future - This Is the Shit
At the end of my vacation
I learned that I'd be stayin'
I learned that I was home
And right at that very moment
I realized how much that place did suck
And I wanted to leave so bad

At the height of my hunger
I looked into the mirror
And saw that I was eating a candy heart
I spit it out, and I ran around the block three times
Collapsed on the ground
And I said to myself "This is the life, this is the life

This is the shit
This is the shit
Fuck this shit
This is so fucked up and I love it so much"

Right before my operation
The laughing gas they gave me
Brought some crazy thoughts into my head
I dreamed I was nowhere
When I woke up I'd forgotten how to get there
And there was blood everywhere
It was fucking awesome

Now the day I saw you, lover
In the arms of another
Well, I knew that I'd arrived

Yes, I belong here
And my fear belongs in my heart
And my heart holds a place for pain always
You're so fucked up and I love you so much

You are the shit
You are the shit
You crazy bitch
You're so fucked up and I love you so much

I am the shit
I am the shit
I'm full of it
I'm so fucked up and I love it so much

Oh yeah
Oh yeah
We're so fucked up
Oh yeah
We're so fucked up
We're so fucked up

And we belong here
And our fear belongs in our hearts
And our hearts will be full of pain always
Track Name: Oh Yeah, The Future - Lovedreams
I woke up in the dark
Having dreamt I was in pursuit
Piling on the circular talk
Just like I used to do

I suppose this is serious love
The kind that just won't be snuffed
The kind of love that never dies
The sort of stuff that ruins lives

Burn the lovedreams, burn 'em for safekeeping
Save the lovedreams, save 'em on the garbage heap
If you lived here, you'd be home by now
If you loved me, you'da let on by now

Did you forget what you said?
Did I misinterpret it?
Vague and softspoken
Over AIM

Five long years ago
Feels like that and twenty-some-odd more
You said "I'm sorry but
You are so beautiful"

Burn the lovedreams, burn 'em for safekeeping
Fill the lovedreams, fill 'em while you're leaving
If you loved me, you'd be home by now
If you lived here, you'da shown by now

Did you forsake your vow?
Or did I misinterpret it somehow?
That delicious little hiccup in
Space-time's continuin'

You were six-fucking-teen
Maybe it didn't mean anything
Maybe it was just one of those things
Whatever the fuck that means

If you lived here, you'd be home by now
If you loved me, I guess I'd know by now

Burn the lovedreams, burn 'em for safekeeping
Save the lovedreams, save 'em on the garbage heap
If you lived here, you'd be home by now
If you loved me, you'da let on by now

If you lived here, you'd be home by now
Track Name: S.u.s.s.
When we pile into a van and set out for some foreign land
Panning for a market share with tempered hope & innocence
I'll be picturing your face, March 25th 2008
The way it beamed up at the stage made a mediocre band sound great

The guys turned down your invitation to an after-hours dive
They were busy passing flyers and had to rest up for their drive
But you shut up the Sunset Strip with just your voice and mandolin
And I'd have drowned in my desire, but I was used to it by then

I'll be picturing your face, rolling down the interstate
Blessed with enough years & wisdom to make my pointless plans take shape
I won't swerve from my destiny when it stakes its claim on me
But when I'm standing on that stage, I wonder just whose face I'll see

I'm sorry you're not in this story. I wish you'd mark it up in red
I wish it were a work in progress. I wish I wouldn't finish it
Could I get an "A" for effort? Am I getting warmer yet?
You've never been around to answer so I'll write it again
Track Name: Even Now
We were playing in the backyard
That's all my mind can see
An orphaned strand left dangling
Somewhere deep inside of me

I saw you ten years later
Ripe age of fifteen
And decided that I loved you
There must be something wrong with me

But I remember that I love you
And that's good enough for me
No part of my thinking
Is immune to memory

I made up all new reasons
Dreamed up all new dreams
But I remember that I love you
And that's good enough for me

Well I'll be damned
Here I am
In your lap

But now miles and miles of highway
Are all these eyes can see
And the girl who lies there bleeding
Just as you are healing me

But be you far across the country
Or I buried 'neath debris
I'll remember that I love you
And that'll be good enough

Cause who am I to question
The way things have to be?
Who am I to keep you
When you're meant to be free?

Who am I? I don't know
It's always baffled me
But I'll remember that you love me
And that'll be something at least

Well I'll be damned
Here I am
In your lap

And oh my stars
Here you are
In my arms

I'll remember, will you remember
that I want you even now that it's real?

Still I miss the aimless hoping
And escaping into dreams
Of better times approaching
With some new reality

Where we're playing in the backyard
Careless and carefree
And in the dream there is no leaving
And no company

Well I'll be damned
Here I am
In your lap

And oh my stars
Here you are
In my arms
Take this heart
Cause it's yours
Even now that it's real
Track Name: Corneas
take me somewhere nice
buy me something cheap
open up my eyes
to what's in front of me

take me somewhere warm
take me to the core
let me build a nest
behind your corneas

pave my winding way
march in my parade
lend me half the nerve
that you permeate

stand here by my side now
i know i'll be alright now
how have i survived
such a still, still life

behind your corneas
how i would get caught up
behind your corneas
yesterday is a bust

tomorrow's a firefly
in a missouri sky
you are a mason jar
and i don't know any better

take me somewhere nice
quiet and discreet
hold your proverbial glass
up to the door of me

let there be no words
for what you've seen and heard
and should your tongue run free
let it decree

"behind your corneas
how i would get caught up
behind your corneas
yesterday is a bust

tomorrow's a firefly
in a minnesota sky
you are a mason jar
and i don't know any better
i don't know a damn thing either"

behind your corneas
behind your corneas

behind your corneas
hurrying fast asleep
dreaming i might wake up
and be able to see me
Track Name: The Middle Initials - Still Alone
If we're gonna fall in love, let's get busy
You know being friends is just fine with me
You know being friends is all there is really
For geniuses like you and me

We got this weird obsession with the truth, you know
We got God talking to us through the radio
We hear Satan's voice ringing in the overtones
We know everything; why are we still alone?
Why are we still alone?
Why are we still alone?

If you're gonna kill me softly, start strummin'
I only seem to put nails in coffins, see
So now I only sing songs 'bout make believe
But you can play a song for me

And I'll know the truth when I hear it, yo
Studied a quarter of a million love songs or so
I know every lyric and every note
I'll teach you everything if you tell me why I'm still alone
Why am I still alone?
Why am I still alone?

To wait another day
'X' marks the date on the calendar
Another day I'd just as soon forget
Immortalized in song

Wait another day
'X' marks the date on the calendar
Yet another day I'd just as soon forget
Immortalized in song

I'm gonna fall in love, I can feel it
I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to deal with this
I don't have a move, I won't steal a kiss
I am at peace with my awkwardness

And I know it shouldn't be a struggle
And I refuse to let this thing get overblown
I won't throw a fit, I'll drop you right at home
Just tell me one thing: why are you still alone?
Why are you still alone?
Baby why are you still alone?
Baby why are you still alone?
Baby why are you still alone?
Track Name: The Middle Initials - Who Said You Could Get Dressed?
I really really love you
I know I've told too many other girls that
But it sure feels nice saying it to you now
I hope we're still together when I play this song in public
I'll tell everyone who I wrote it about

So what was your name again?
Is this 2005 or -10?
Hey what am I wearing?
And who told you to get dressed?
Who said you could get dressed?

I really really love you
I know I probably actually don't
But it sure feels good pretending that I do tonight
I hope we're still together when I put this on an album
I will print your name in boldface in the acknowledgments

Could you at least give me a hint?
What is this, '89? '98? Missouri or Michigan?
Is my hair all gone or just getting thin?
And why're you wearing that bra again?
And where the hell do you think you're going?
And who said you could get dressed?
Track Name: Classic Idiot Move
it was a classic idiot move
the only kinda moves i seem to know how to do are them
classic idiot moves, mmhmm

i spoke plain english to you
told you how i was feeling and what i wanted to do
it was a classic idiot move, yeah yeah

i said 'let's handle this like friends
let's drop our defenses and trust the means will inform the ends'
it was my classic idiot bent resurfacing

i said 'fuck it' and emailed you all
the classic love songs i'd written to help speed things along
you had no rebuttal at all but to further withdraw

two of the other guys in my band have probably gotten farther with you than i have
and i don't care anymore but if i did i'd probably wanna gouge my eyes out
la la lalalala lala

it was a classic idiot move
the only kinda moves i seem to know how to do anymore are them
classic idiot moves, uh huh
sincerely, s. bach
Track Name: Star Maps - Coelacanth
I am the coelacanth
On wireless Internet
I am primordial
In ones and zeroes

I'm hexidecimal
I'm Auto-tuned just so
I'm Beat-detected yo
Still sound like shit though

Let's go crazy one more time
Then we're gonna fall in line
What's scarier than success?
What's more mystifying than your messy feelings?

I am an instant
Spewing eternity
I am eternally
What I was meant to be

I am two parties
Locked in a stalemate
I am a hot and
Contentious blind date

Let's go crazy one more time
Then we're gonna fall right in line
What's scarier than success?
What's more horrifying than those dirty feelings?

I am a deaf blind snail
Straight out the Burgess Shale
I am the last blue whale
Standing at the gates of Hell
I heard they's having a garage sale

Let's go crazy one more time
Then we're gonna fall in line
Let's go stare into the sun
Let's burn all our bridges but one
What's scarier than success?
What's more tiring than what is?
What could ever be more difficult than this?
What's more mystifying than our messy feelings?
Track Name: Striving (demo)
i'm a lucky fucker yeah that's right i said it
can't seem to give myself all that much credit
for stumbling onto happiness
as regrets keep falling out of my back pockets

got a little faith by god i've god it
who could be so pompous as to say he thought
it should be this spectacular to be alive?
although at times it's been a bumpy ride

i'm somehow fucking surviving, yeah
somehow fucking surviving, yeah
somehow fucking surviving, yeah

i'm somehow fucking surviving, yeah
arguably even thriving, yeah
got a full tank of gas to keep striving, yeah

i'm a lucky fucker yeah and don't i know it
i'm a heavy favorite so i'd best not blow it
it's scary at times to try at all
but i'd rather be a failure than an asshole

don't burn out brother, fade away with me slowly
the decaying of the body is sacred and holy
don't you rush into eternity
warm your bones up by the fire and grow old with me

we'll be somehow fucking surviving, yeah
somehow fucking surviving, yeah
somehow fucking surviving, yeah

we'll keep somehow fucking surviving, yeah
arguably even thriving, yeah
got full tanks of gas to keep striving, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah

i'm still somehow fucking surviving, yeah
somehow fucking surviving, yeah
somehow fucking surviving, yeah

we're all somehow fucking surviving, yeah
arguably even thriving, yeah
got full tanks of gas to keep striving, yeah
yeah