Defeat Lap: Arguably the Best of S​.​A. Bach, 2007​-​13

by Sebastian A. Bach

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1.
I'm the one I love What am I waiting for Anybody else for? I'm the one I love Now I know for sure Your leaving only makes me love me more I'm the one I love I've been with me all along With my outstretched hands And my long-term plans Still I gazed out and beyond Falling on deaf ears and squeezing stones But all the years and loves and songs Lie before me now And seem to spell it out My epic quest was all in vain I've never been alone, and now I know I'm the one I love
2.
Driveway 03:33
I could barely believe the love I'd found It made me say, 'I guess I'm all grown up now' But a moment later my jaw dropped to the ground She'd pulled into my driveway just to turn around If you don't want me, I'd rather not ask Emotions get the best of me, and I the worst of them The truth makes me wanna pretend D'ya want me to not ask? I could drink a case of you, I still might not get full But if I just walk away, I won't look like a fool Well maybe I'm afraid to lose, to try, to get, and to have But I'll catch you later on, screamin' from the past Emotion gets the best of me, and I the worst of it The truth is full of shit D'ya want me to not ask? Don't you want me to not ask? I traveled the world, just lookin' around Then she came and found me on solid ground But that's when I heard my least favorite sound She pulled back out my driveway, she was just turnin' around Once again I sang a song not knowing what it meant You were sent to enlighten me, weren't you? Once again I wrote a song without believing in it And you came to convince me, didn't you? You'll leave me in the dust But I am not as I was I am better off because Now the song runs in my blood And my hope is gone for good I could barely believe the love I'd found Couldn't help but say, 'I guess I'm all grown up now' But to this day, I can't wrap my mind around it She pulled into my driveway just to turn around
3.
At the end of my vacation I learned that I'd be stayin' I learned that I was home And right at that very moment I realized how much that place did suck And I wanted to leave so bad At the height of my hunger I looked into the mirror And saw that I was eating a candy heart I spit it out, and I ran around the block three times Collapsed on the ground And I said to myself "This is the life, this is the life This is the shit This is the shit Fuck this shit This is so fucked up and I love it so much" Right before my operation The laughing gas they gave me Brought some crazy thoughts into my head I dreamed I was nowhere When I woke up I'd forgotten how to get there And there was blood everywhere It was fucking awesome Now the day I saw you, lover In the arms of another Well, I knew that I'd arrived Yes, I belong here And my fear belongs in my heart And my heart holds a place for pain always You're so fucked up and I love you so much You are the shit You are the shit You crazy bitch You're so fucked up and I love you so much I am the shit I am the shit I'm full of it I'm so fucked up and I love it so much Oh yeah Oh yeah We're so fucked up Oh yeah We're so fucked up We're so fucked up And we belong here And our fear belongs in our hearts And our hearts will be full of pain always
4.
Lovedreams 03:20
I woke up in the dark Having dreamt I was in pursuit Piling on the circular talk Just like I used to do I suppose this is serious love The kind that just won't be snuffed The kind of love that never dies The sort of stuff that ruins lives Burn the lovedreams, burn 'em for safekeeping Save the lovedreams, save 'em on the garbage heap If you lived here, you'd be home by now If you loved me, you'da let on by now Did you forget what you said? Did I misinterpret it? Vague and softspoken Over AIM Five long years ago Feels like that and twenty-some-odd more You said "I'm sorry but You are so beautiful" Burn the lovedreams, burn 'em for safekeeping Fill the lovedreams, fill 'em while you're leaving If you loved me, you'd be home by now If you lived here, you'da shown by now Did you forsake your vow? Or did I misinterpret it somehow? That delicious little hiccup in Space-time's continuin' You were six-fucking-teen Maybe it didn't mean anything Maybe it was just one of those things Whatever the fuck that means If you lived here, you'd be home by now If you loved me, I guess I'd know by now Burn the lovedreams, burn 'em for safekeeping Save the lovedreams, save 'em on the garbage heap If you lived here, you'd be home by now If you loved me, you'da let on by now If you lived here, you'd be home by now
5.
S.u.s.s. 03:29
When we pile into a van and set out for some foreign land Panning for a market share with tempered hope & innocence I'll be picturing your face, March 25th 2008 The way it beamed up at the stage made a mediocre band sound great The guys turned down your invitation to an after-hours dive They were busy passing flyers and had to rest up for their drive But you shut up the Sunset Strip with just your voice and mandolin And I'd have drowned in my desire, but I was used to it by then I'll be picturing your face, rolling down the interstate Blessed with enough years & wisdom to make my pointless plans take shape I won't swerve from my destiny when it stakes its claim on me But when I'm standing on that stage, I wonder just whose face I'll see I'm sorry you're not in this story. I wish you'd mark it up in red I wish it were a work in progress. I wish I wouldn't finish it Could I get an "A" for effort? Am I getting warmer yet? You've never been around to answer so I'll write it again
6.
Even Now 03:44
We were playing in the backyard That's all my mind can see An orphaned strand left dangling Somewhere deep inside of me I saw you ten years later Ripe age of fifteen And decided that I loved you There must be something wrong with me But I remember that I love you And that's good enough for me No part of my thinking Is immune to memory I made up all new reasons Dreamed up all new dreams But I remember that I love you And that's good enough for me Well I'll be damned Here I am In your lap But now miles and miles of highway Are all these eyes can see And the girl who lies there bleeding Just as you are healing me But be you far across the country Or I buried 'neath debris I'll remember that I love you And that'll be good enough Cause who am I to question The way things have to be? Who am I to keep you When you're meant to be free? Who am I? I don't know It's always baffled me But I'll remember that you love me And that'll be something at least Well I'll be damned Here I am In your lap And oh my stars Here you are In my arms I'll remember, will you remember that I want you even now that it's real? Still I miss the aimless hoping And escaping into dreams Of better times approaching With some new reality Where we're playing in the backyard Careless and carefree And in the dream there is no leaving And no company Well I'll be damned Here I am In your lap And oh my stars Here you are In my arms Take this heart Cause it's yours Even now that it's real
7.
Corneas 04:14
take me somewhere nice buy me something cheap open up my eyes to what's in front of me take me somewhere warm take me to the core let me build a nest behind your corneas pave my winding way march in my parade lend me half the nerve that you permeate stand here by my side now i know i'll be alright now how have i survived such a still, still life behind your corneas how i would get caught up behind your corneas yesterday is a bust tomorrow's a firefly in a missouri sky you are a mason jar and i don't know any better take me somewhere nice quiet and discreet hold your proverbial glass up to the door of me let there be no words for what you've seen and heard and should your tongue run free let it decree "behind your corneas how i would get caught up behind your corneas yesterday is a bust tomorrow's a firefly in a minnesota sky you are a mason jar and i don't know any better i don't know a damn thing either" behind your corneas behind your corneas behind your corneas hurrying fast asleep dreaming i might wake up and be able to see me
8.
Still Alone 03:08
If we're gonna fall in love, let's get busy You know being friends is just fine with me You know being friends is all there is really For geniuses like you and me We got this weird obsession with the truth, you know We got God talking to us through the radio We hear Satan's voice ringing in the overtones We know everything; why are we still alone? Why are we still alone? Why are we still alone? If you're gonna kill me softly, start strummin' I only seem to put nails in coffins, see So now I only sing songs 'bout make believe But you can play a song for me And I'll know the truth when I hear it, yo Studied a quarter of a million love songs or so I know every lyric and every note I'll teach you everything if you tell me why I'm still alone Why am I still alone? Why am I still alone? To wait another day 'X' marks the date on the calendar Another day I'd just as soon forget Immortalized in song Wait another day 'X' marks the date on the calendar Yet another day I'd just as soon forget Immortalized in song I'm gonna fall in love, I can feel it I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to deal with this I don't have a move, I won't steal a kiss I am at peace with my awkwardness And I know it shouldn't be a struggle And I refuse to let this thing get overblown I won't throw a fit, I'll drop you right at home Just tell me one thing: why are you still alone? Why are you still alone? Baby why are you still alone? Baby why are you still alone? Baby why are you still alone?
9.
I really really love you I know I've told too many other girls that But it sure feels nice saying it to you now I hope we're still together when I play this song in public I'll tell everyone who I wrote it about So what was your name again? Is this 2005 or -10? Hey what am I wearing? And who told you to get dressed? Who said you could get dressed? I really really love you I know I probably actually don't But it sure feels good pretending that I do tonight I hope we're still together when I put this on an album I will print your name in boldface in the acknowledgments Could you at least give me a hint? What is this, '89? '98? Missouri or Michigan? Is my hair all gone or just getting thin? And why're you wearing that bra again? And where the hell do you think you're going? And who said you could get dressed?
10.
it was a classic idiot move the only kinda moves i seem to know how to do are them classic idiot moves, mmhmm i spoke plain english to you told you how i was feeling and what i wanted to do it was a classic idiot move, yeah yeah i said 'let's handle this like friends let's drop our defenses and trust the means will inform the ends' it was my classic idiot bent resurfacing i said 'fuck it' and emailed you all the classic love songs i'd written to help speed things along you had no rebuttal at all but to further withdraw two of the other guys in my band have probably gotten farther with you than i have and i don't care anymore but if i did i'd probably wanna gouge my eyes out la la lalalala lala it was a classic idiot move the only kinda moves i seem to know how to do anymore are them classic idiot moves, uh huh sincerely, s. bach
11.
Coelacanth 02:37
I am the coelacanth On wireless Internet I am primordial In ones and zeroes I'm hexidecimal I'm Auto-tuned just so I'm Beat-detected yo Still sound like shit though Let's go crazy one more time Then we're gonna fall in line What's scarier than success? What's more mystifying than your messy feelings? I am an instant Spewing eternity I am eternally What I was meant to be I am two parties Locked in a stalemate I am a hot and Contentious blind date Let's go crazy one more time Then we're gonna fall right in line What's scarier than success? What's more horrifying than those dirty feelings? I am a deaf blind snail Straight out the Burgess Shale I am the last blue whale Standing at the gates of Hell I heard they's having a garage sale Let's go crazy one more time Then we're gonna fall in line Let's go stare into the sun Let's burn all our bridges but one What's scarier than success? What's more tiring than what is? What could ever be more difficult than this? What's more mystifying than our messy feelings?
12.
i'm a lucky fucker yeah that's right i said it can't seem to give myself all that much credit for stumbling onto happiness as regrets keep falling out of my back pockets got a little faith by god i've god it who could be so pompous as to say he thought it should be this spectacular to be alive? although at times it's been a bumpy ride i'm somehow fucking surviving, yeah somehow fucking surviving, yeah somehow fucking surviving, yeah i'm somehow fucking surviving, yeah arguably even thriving, yeah got a full tank of gas to keep striving, yeah i'm a lucky fucker yeah and don't i know it i'm a heavy favorite so i'd best not blow it it's scary at times to try at all but i'd rather be a failure than an asshole don't burn out brother, fade away with me slowly the decaying of the body is sacred and holy don't you rush into eternity warm your bones up by the fire and grow old with me we'll be somehow fucking surviving, yeah somehow fucking surviving, yeah somehow fucking surviving, yeah we'll keep somehow fucking surviving, yeah arguably even thriving, yeah got full tanks of gas to keep striving, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm still somehow fucking surviving, yeah somehow fucking surviving, yeah somehow fucking surviving, yeah we're all somehow fucking surviving, yeah arguably even thriving, yeah got full tanks of gas to keep striving, yeah yeah

about

Thanks to all involved

Special thanks to Art Paz, Mike TV, Chrissa Hayes, Lonn Hayes, John Burke, Greg Moran, Arthur C. Lee, and Steve Bach.

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released November 25, 2013

played & sung by S.A. Bach (except as noted)
songs by Sebastian A. Bach & published by Straight Pathos (ASCAP)
mastered by S.A. Bach (except as noted)

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Sebastian A. Bach Los Angeles, California

singer songwriter from LA
singer guitarist of Oh Yeah, the Future
also makes music with Allie Goertz, Get Set Go, Joe Fraley, A.J. Bach, Wormstew, Krista Meadows

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